Kerry Truelove, writer

They Have Their Little Ways

.. Butch didn’t mind a swim – in fact he loved them, and on a hot day it was an exercise to persuade him not to get wet – and he didn’t mind getting out of the car, but for a while he definitely drew the line at combining the two.   He stopped on the edge and peered down at the sweep of water, and you could just about see him shake his head no, I don’t like the look of this, this isn’t right! …

… Marc took the mouse out and the evening collapsed into normalcy.   Well, the sort of normalcy you have when the dining and living rooms are awash with unpacked furniture and assorted chattels, the dog all bright-eyed for the next instalment of the game, and an excessively dignified brown tabby with a hare lip sitting like a furry Buddha in the middle of the room…

… there was the time Duma was on the pergola and the bird distracted her.   She had managed to come all the way out to the end of one of the beams, which was remarkably clever of her given she would have to back up the entire way – the nearest other beam being too far for her to jump.   The last thing I wanted her to attempt was to turn around on a 35mm beam – but that’s Duma for you.  So there she was, perched like a portly, unusual bird, an owl for preference, decked out in tabby-tortie feathers, and an Indian mynah flew behind her.   Being ornithologically minded, she turned to watch it.   It was perfectly typical of the little clot:  she didn’t just turn her head, she turned her body.   That included moving her feet.   

We were lucky.   Instead of plummeting to the ground like a dodo that had unaccountably got into a tree and was paying the penalty for its foolishness, she was hanging off the beam, her front paws hooked around it, her hind paws scrabbling wildly for purchase in mid-air, the tail wriggling like a furry worm.   It was the classic “oh shit!” position……

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I come from a family of unashamed pet-owners, although it seems to me that the pets we have owned have done more of the owning of us than we have of them.

Watching our feline and canine companions over the years has led me to the inescapable conclusion that the term pe(s)t is more accurate.  I doubt any of them did not, at one time or another, thoroughly get in our ways – sometimes bizarrely, sometimes bewilderingly, and often humorously. This book is about some of those times – without doubt, there are many incidents which have escaped my memory.

In essence, this book is about what happens when a family of inveterate pet owners and their pets interact.  It is a series of anecdotes and reminiscences about the shenanigans that pets can inflict upon their owners, sometimes bizarrely, sometimes bewilderingly and frequently humorously.  Pets show us what to do with rugs on polished marble floors;  the correct use of garden pots, sinks and washing machine drums;  the dangers of hot air balloons;  the unreliable nature of lakeside vegetation;  how to hunt rabbits, mice, rats, possums and birds (and even, on occasion, catch them!);  how to travel across several meridians of latitude in a style guaranteed to maximise the embarrassment to their owners;  how to provide instant and unusual assistance in the garden;  and the joys of getting themselves, or their owners, thoroughly wet at any given opportunity.

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I can honestly state that this is a book written from experience, even if I myself was not present at every incident recounted in it.  The truth is, I had a lot of fun writing it, not least of which was remembering beloved characters and rediscovering the silly incidents that had taken place in the time during which we co-habited. 

I could be cruel and blame the book on someone with whom I worked, but that would be unfair. I had it in my mind to write down our pets’ adventures some years before I engaged in the email exchange. That exchange did, admittedly, spur me to putting the accumulated anecdotes into a book, but it was not Milena’s fault. 

For a little while I thought of putting into the book my sketches of some of the funnier incidents, but came to the conclusion that while I might have a talent for drawing, it is rather small and probably would detract from the book.  Still, I enjoyed doing them and feel like sharing them a bit. Herewith those that relate to the extracts above.

But of course, the reality is that you had to be there.  So often the funniest moment was the reaction of the animal involved, such as Clancy’s air of ‘how did that happen?!’ when, unaccountably, we had managed to put an invisible fence in the way of her whole-hearted and happy pursuit of a scent; or the discombobulation of Matthew’s considerable dignity when attacked by a great big, slavering ugh boot.

And for the curious, the cover is a distorted image of a photograph of Kinda, coming full tilt back to us one late afternoon walk. No, she didn’t run into us – but it was a near-run thing.

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Interested in exploring more? Copies of They Have Their Little Ways can be obtained from the following online book stores:

Print on demand: ISBN   978-0-646-81687-6

e-book: ISBN   978-0-6489892-2-6